The Roots Beneath Our Reactions: How Childhood Core Beliefs Shape Adult Life
As a therapist, one of the most powerful and transformative topics I explore with clients is core beliefs—those deep, often unconscious convictions we hold about ourselves, others, and the world. They form early, take root silently, and then shape the landscape of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors long into adulthood.
What Are Core Beliefs?
Core beliefs are fundamental assumptions we make, typically about:
Ourselves (e.g., "I’m not good enough.")
Others (e.g., "People can't be trusted.")
The world (e.g., "The world is dangerous.")
These aren’t surface-level thoughts we can easily talk ourselves out of. They live deeper, often unnoticed, influencing how we interpret life’s events and respond to challenges.
How Core Beliefs Are Formed in Childhood
Core beliefs are forged in our earliest relationships and experiences. During childhood, our brains are highly impressionable, and we are constantly looking for cues to make sense of who we are and how the world works.
Here are a few common scenarios that shape these beliefs:
Consistent criticism or neglect may lead a child to believe, “I am unworthy of love.”
Unpredictable or chaotic environments can foster a belief that, “The world is unsafe.”
Praise based only on achievement might result in, “I must succeed to have value.”
Even well-meaning caregivers can unintentionally contribute to harmful beliefs. A child who sees a parent regularly overwhelmed by stress might internalize, “My needs are a burden.”
Children don’t yet have the maturity to contextualize adult behavior or understand nuance. So they draw conclusions—often inaccurate but deeply felt.
How Core Beliefs Show Up in Adulthood
As adults, these beliefs continue to operate in the background, like an old program running silently but powerfully in the background of your life.
They might manifest as:
People-pleasing or perfectionism stemming from “I must be perfect to be loved.”
Fear of vulnerability or intimacy tied to “If I let people in, they’ll hurt me.”
Self-sabotage driven by “I don’t deserve success.”
Because they often develop so early, these beliefs can feel like truth. But they are not facts—they are interpretations.
Can Core Beliefs Be Changed?
Yes. Awareness is the first and most crucial step. In therapy, we often start by identifying these beliefs through patterns in your relationships, self-talk, and emotional triggers.
From there, we begin the work of:
Challenging the evidence: Is this belief always true?
Rewriting the narrative: What would a more balanced belief look like?
Experiential healing: This might involve inner child work, somatic therapy, or practicing new behaviors in safe relationships.
It’s not easy work, but it is deeply liberating.
A Final Word
Core beliefs are not your fault—but healing from them is your opportunity. You deserve to live with beliefs that reflect your worth, your resilience, and your potential.
If anything in this post resonated with you, know that you’re not alone. Therapy is a powerful space to explore and reshape the foundational stories that guide your life.