Parenting While Healing: The Silent Struggle of the Single Mom
Being a single mom is one of the hardest roles I’ve ever taken on — and also one of the most meaningful. Add healing from trauma on top of it, and you’re carrying more than most people will ever see.
If you’re reading this as a single mom, trying to keep it all together while working through your own pain, I want you to know: you’re not alone. And you’re not failing.
Parenting while healing is a constant balancing act. You’re trying to meet your kids’ emotional needs while still learning how to meet your own. You’re trying to be patient and present, even when your nervous system is on high alert. You’re trying to protect your children from the very things that hurt you — all while you’re still processing those hurts yourself.
Some days you show up as the calm, nurturing mom you want to be. Other days, your trauma shows up first. Maybe you snap. Maybe you shut down. Maybe the tears come after bedtime. That doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you a human being doing something incredibly hard — parenting while healing wounds that were never your fault to begin with.
I’ve lived this. I went back to graduate school as a single mom. I moved across the country — twice — to protect my kids and build a better life. I’ve sat in silence after bedtime, wondering if I did enough. Wondering if I was enough.
What I’ve learned — through personal experience and as a therapist — is that healing and parenting don’t happen in separate lanes. They happen together, in the messy, beautiful, exhausting reality of everyday life. Your healing is not just for you. It’s a gift to your children. Every time you pause instead of yell, every time you take a breath instead of shutting down, every time you ask for help — you’re breaking cycles. That’s powerful.
But let’s be honest: it’s also really hard. There are days when self-care feels like a luxury, when therapy feels overwhelming, and when the idea of healing feels out of reach. Those are the days you need the most compassion — not pressure to do more, be more, fix more.
So if no one has told you lately:
You are doing better than you think.
It’s okay to need support. Asking for help is strength.
Your healing doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.
You don’t have to carry it all alone.
This work is hard, but you are not alone in it. If you’re ready to explore your healing in a safe, supportive space, I’m here — not just as a therapist, but as someone who deeply understands the road you’re walking.
With you in strength and softness,
Renee Braune, MA, LPC